An Open Letter to the Navy Housing Office

Navy housing. Photo by LTJG Danae Moore (Source CNIC).

Dear Navy Housing Office,

                This is just a little note to let you know how much I appreciate you.  It has been a real pleasure living in your community in Southern California.  To tell you the truth, I have spent most of my career avoiding military housing.  I guess I was reluctant have the Navy in my life even in my off time.  Maybe I was afraid that failing to mow my lawn adequately could be punished under the UCMJ.  However, due to the housing costs in San Diego (which are a little on the high side) I moved into a nice little duplex in Navy Housing.

A picture of a toilet (Source: Wikimedia Commons)

                First off, I love the toilets.  It’s not often that toilets are at the top of any list.  But that is because, until recently, I have never had a toilet that could easily flush a mature alpaca.  Thanks to the toilet’s vacuum feature, a clogged toilet is a thing of the past in my house.  So is children sleeping through the night, since it flushes at approximately the same volume of an F/A-18 catapulting off an aircraft carrier.  Sure there are some dangers, for example you do NOT want to be sitting on it when it flushes, but what is that compared to never having to own a plunger?

                The maintenance staff is top notch.  They have always responded in a timely manner (sometimes within the same calendar year), and they will not only fix the problem, but also provide helpful tips.  Earlier this year when our garbage disposal broke, the plumber cleared the clog in less time than it takes a ship to prepare for an INSURV inspection.  Afterward, the technician informed us that if we wanted to prevent future clogs we should avoid using it to dispose of food.  I asked what kind of food he was talking about and he told me that we shouldn’t use it for any food at all.  It’s these kind of helpful hints that we housing residents desperately need.  With a name like “garbage disposal” I had somehow concluded that it was designed to dispose of garbage, but you live and learn.  We now flush our garbage down the toilet.

Like many sailors, when I return from a deployment I normally have a hard time falling asleep without all the usual shipboard noise to which I have become accustomed.  But here that is not a problem.  The dishwasher and the heater/air conditioner provide a constant hum throughout the house at a volume similar to a ship underway, while conducting flight operations at general quarters.

Actual photo from playground (Source: Author)

My biggest concern when moving to the west coast was my family’s safety.  Just watching the news about all the violence in southern California was enough for me to make my children wear Kevlar even inside the house.  Imagine my relief when I discovered that safety is your top concern.  You have no idea how refreshing it is to see the signs warning of potential unexploded ordinance.  These are especially helpful at the playground where my children play.  It’s helpful to know that the toy my kids are trying to pick up might be an unexploded rocket left over from the cold war.

Having always preferred rural to urban areas, I was worried that living in the city of San Diego would take me away from nature and wildlife.  These fears were unfounded.  Every day we are enthralled by the sights of coyotes, rattlesnakes, rabbits (though these are normally being eaten by the coyotes and snakes), and of course giant poisonous spiders.

I could go on and on but I think I have made my point.  Living in Navy family housing here in San Diego is well worth the $36,000.00 taken out of my paycheck every year.

Best Regards,

A Happy (but bitching) Sailor

Follow me on Twitter: @rob_hoops

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