I regularly receive emails asking questions about my blog. As you can imagine I didn’t get to where I am by reading emails. It takes a lot of time (time that could be better used preparing for the next inspection or watching TV) to read these emails and to think about responding to them. In an effort to minimize these questions I have prepared the answers to those most frequently asked. This list will be updated as required (probably).
What is this blog all about?
Sea Stories and other lies is collection of humorous essays and observations from my time in the Navy as well as life in general, at least, this is what is says on the About page. Maybe you should go there first.
Are you really in the Navy?
Yes, I am… or was. I retired after 20 years of service.
Seriously, you were in the Navy?
Yes, I was actually in the Navy. I have a uniform in my closet and everything.
I thought all you Navy guys were serious with no sense of humor.
You are thinking of Marines.
Also I didn’t think Navy guys could spell.
Now you’re thinking of the Army (and also some Marines).
And that you all are alcoholics.
Okay, there’s some truth there.
Will I learn anything valuable about the Navy on this blog?
Probably not. To be perfectly honest you probably won’t learn anything valuable about anything here.
Why can’t I comment on your posts?
Because I am lazy and don’t want to read what you write. If you want to comment, start your own blog.
If a train leaves New York traveling south at 60 MPH how long will it take to get to Baltimore?
Okay, this is not really a frequently asked question.
You just don’t really know the answer, do you?
May I use your material?
You are welcome to use any material you find useful (good luck) but I expect to receive proper credit for it… or money…especially money.
For EMI I have to give training at quarters. Can I use your material for training?
Um… sure go for it. Let me know how it works out for you after you get out of the brig.
In one of your posts it sounded like you were talking about me. Were you?
There are literally tons of people in the Navy who do silly things that inspire my writing. I could be talking about anyone or possibly everyone. When I describe people in my blog, I work tirelessly (well maybe not tirelessly but I do try) to anonymize individuals to ensure no embarrassment or ridicule results. But yes, I was talking about you.
I have produced a product in my parents’ basement that your readers would love. How can I advertise on your blog?
At present I do not have the ability to place ads on my blog. This partly due to the fact that I am cheap and don’t want to pay for my own site, and partly because I have no idea how to do it. However if you send me money I will be happy to routinely pretend, in my posts, that I like your product and that everyone should buy it.
Do you take PayPal?
No, I prefer to be paid in briefcases full of cash, but I will also accept gold bars (as long as they come in a briefcase).